-12:58:00 PM

r u like referring like to yourself?? cause i dnt reli talk bout you in the way you did. think bout myself?? ya of course.. dnt you?? think on what you did.. does it benefit any other person.. it dont ait. its true i have the gift of the gap.. n in case you dnt understand. its the ability to talk n persuade. i change ur liking? you?? try to change me, mould me into something im not.

im really tired of these kind of things.. everytime we fight im the one who has to dig into this shit and try to save anything thats left.. n i nvr did say that im into anything serious. maybe you think i am. but if you reli know me. you should catch what my intentions were from the start.

maybe youre still naive. very. i tried to treat you like an adult, but youre still not there yet. im not talking bout actions but your cognitive equations. its a bit lacking there. no use thinking bout it. youve hurt everything hurt. my ego is never really there.. but nw it is.. i never been stepped by a girl like this.. but you did.. guess its gd to know who you really are ait nw. bt i dnt get thoes twitches no more.. its a good thing i guess. get your actions right ya.. dnt do 1 gd thing and gets it defaulted by your stupid no respect actions.. im done..

-11:12:00 PM

and again its happening to me.. beginning to hope that i was someone else.. when it was calm and peaceful, it was damn solemn, but when the clouds gets cloudy.. woohoo.. what a storm..

first of all, i woke up late and get into some squabble wit mum over me over sleeping..aiya.. haha.. that was ok lah i guess. next comes deeyan.. im truly sorry dian.. i heared you ask what time we were going off.. i tot some of them answered.. when i turned around to say, your eyes turned away..dapat au takde orang cakap.. i was so pissed with myself.. i truly m an idiot.. but was fun today that my group was once again reseracted by the presence of sulala and sanana. reli made my day.. i realised that whenever im down, im up.. as in i look more lively and crazy kos maybe i wana forget bout it. but it do werk.

had weekly meetings with nabilah as usual at macD. actually planned to go gym but i guess carrying the apparels for gym was oliadi workout for me as i was so tired.. we talked about feelings, minds, and all sort of situations that i may find myself in the near future..haha.. hope it wud nt come true.. todae was the day i reli opened up kos we both kinda thinks alike and reli share common things. shes the best gal flen i had thus far. better than best friend but never shared a 'wana start a relationship' feelings.. ive yet to come up wit a word 4 us.. haha..

now i know a lot of things.. and what i shud do n dont.. N_D_A K_ _ I K...
she is what i shud be prioritising.. and i will.. ill get us back where we used to be.. 2 years n 3 months back

-10:31:00 PM

what does it takes to be a prince charming? is it the dashing good looks, the shining armour they wear, the slick shoulder long hair, the cloud white horse they ride?? in today's context is the mat2 kind of exotic looks, the labels they wear, the GATSBY perfected hair and the shiny ride they mount.

these are what you girls would be dreaming of ait. well, im afraid to blow your bubble, but im gona do it anyway. well guys like me "average joe", do have feelings in case you overlooked, you gave us hopes with your flirtatious behaviour, and i know that it is just how you act but some guys just dont get it do they.. not all guys have really fallen in love, but once they do, the girl just wont be there to catch them when do fall, so instead of kissing the girl, they get the floor..

guys also do bitch around especially when they have the "assets" of attraction, just girl hopping.. dat is in turn hurtful for the girl so they to want to act up like this so back to square 1, the guys get hurt.

as you know, we guys dnt understand abit bout girls even though we say we know. wake up guys.. you dont. in turn, girls can read us like a book, open us like 1, close like 1 and just fling it away like 1.. they know our every moves, give us hopes and just move on to the next book. my advice, dont put lots of hope on just 1 girl.. unless you know that she is worth the wait which again supports the point of you guys knowing girls..arrgh..

they speak to you in a different tone, they reply ur messages, they smile everytime they look at you, they give thoes kind of smile you never seen coming out of her before.. these are just facade to make you feel like your on top of the world, and when youre there, they just kick you in the back..

so i conclude, dont find yourself instant soulmate. take it step by step..

1. be friends
2. be close friend
3. be good friend
4. be best friend

so here is the tricky part.. when you get to know this girl inside out, you would get the feeling of sibling love, if you do, leave it that way.. if you tink that you can go on a step further, go on.. and you dont need verbal contracts like "will you be my girl", if its there.. its there my friend.. the actions you show would follow and you would soon introduce her to your dudes.."hei..dats her..finally"

-1:10:00 AM

If words could speak on their own
this would be much easier to do.
Though this is already known
I must say how I feel about you.


Roses wilt and love notes fade,
but our love will last forever.
I'll be there when tears cascade.
In your heart I will endeavor.


My heart does not beat, it chants your name.
It longs for you every second of the day
as I gaze at you in the picture frame.
Every time you leave it weeps for you to stay.


You make me smile so much
I don't know how I restore my neutral face.
Longing for your sweet touch,
always dreaming of receiving your embrace.

You know who you are and I want you to know
how much I truly care about you.
Make me a promise that you will never go
for you're something I wish to pursue.

-12:20:00 PM

Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.

adapted from the movie P.S. I LOVE YOU

P.S. Guess What
you are the one that makes me whole
but i dnt wish to write you a final letter

Labels: nocturnal, you

-11:30:00 AM

Have You ever loved someone
But knew they didn't care?
Have You ever felt like crying

But Knew you'd get no where?

Have you ever looked into their eyes

And said a little prayer?

Have you ever looked into their hearts

And wished that you were there?

Have you ever felt their heartbeat,

When the lights were turned down low?

Have you ever whispered "God, I love You"

But you'll never let me show?

Love is grand, yet it hurts so much.

The price you pay is high.

If I could choose between Love and Death,

I'd rather choose to die.

So do not fall in love, my friend,

It doesn't pay a dime.

It only causes broken hearts,

Yet it happens all the time.

So do not fall in love, my friend,

You'll hurt before it's through.

I ought to know, my friend

-I fell in love with you.

-2:10:00 PM

this is my bestest fren at class. she is strange in a way but sometimes i find myself in her.
Dian/Deeyan/Alba/Elise

This is my adeq in class. she is the youngest(but nak step tue) n ya..she has Hellboy's right hand of doom.

Sucy/Sufia/adeq/HEAVY..HEHE

she shares somthing common with me.my age. and i never said this but u r kinda HOT..kening naek2..

Natasha/stellar/bimbo/eat chocolate never share

ahhh...this is the most cutest girl in class.. in every way i tell you. she looks like the nenek in the movie Congkak in the pic but she really is THE girl next door..or maybe a few more la.

Sulastri,Sulala,Happiest Girl in the world..(almost)

this is the 1 of the 2 handsome guys in class. he is so like doink but he is fun to be wit..just mind his LANGUAGE.hehe

Wei xiang/WX/loverboy

and finally Ahmed.. the frst guy to go home with me.. hes the fiercest of them all. with heart of a lion, strength of an elephant..n only god knows.
Ahmed/AJ/Botak/Jones/Monkey

-1:26:00 PM

My guardian angel, once careless and free,flew into the clouds and lost touch with me.
Her tears were cold and wet, falling on my face.
Her smile had left us without a trace.
Her angelic lips quivered, frozen and scared,I felt rain clouds visiting, and had to prepare.
I knew that angels, often content,were very special presents that God had sent.
To see one so sad,so afraid,so alone,had made me weep while the cold winds had blown.
Her wings lost feathers,comforting and soft,falling from the stars,floating aloft.
Her pain was felt throughout the land,to feel true misery is impossible to stand.
I prayed so that when her hurting stops,I'll be able to taste the angel's teardrops.

-3:36:00 PM

im like so hyper 2dae..very irritating also..was sitting on the bricked playground den suddenly rain. we were like omg. but wei xiang.. stressed about wondering to break wit his gal or not, played in the rain n keep splashing me. i chased him on the bridge and i think people think we are like high on weeds or something.. haha.. wei xiang did broke up

i was talking and disturbing people. talk with sarina for awhile. playfully i must say..haha..den go second break.. i was surprised that SULALA did tag along. like for the first time. cool. been awhile since ive tok to her. she really has no mood todae kos of certain things i guess. really sad to see people who is forever happy suddenly lost that title. hemm.. wished i could like reli tok to her. SO YA.. maybe 1 day la..n im glad i spoke to u dat time ya. very much relieved. n nw u know hw hes like.taxn for helping me wit this blog i have.

n please just hit me back.. im worried bout u now. reli sad to see u in this state

-9:58:00 PM

its a long2 week for me man..im like so damn tired..but i guess this is part of life. making money. n the money is not for me. im working it for my mum. i wish to say what it is but it reli is a family business. n i dnt seek symphaty from others. im so sad to see my mum this way. shes sacrificed everything 4 me. so i guess its my turn to sacrifice my bike dream 4 her.

i guess wen everything settled dwn. only then i could burden myself with bike probs. id love to have 1, but ya. its just not the right time. n ive long fgtn about getting a bike. my life is werk n lepak. so i dnt want it to get affected by this. and if i do have a bike. i wont spend time at hm since i dnt spend time at all nw wit them. even nw im cooped at my room while my family is watching congkak.

till then.

n i reli hope that wen ur wit him. ull smile kays. like u did before. still.. i am just a text away..haha

-11:20:00 AM

i have this urge to see you,
which i never thought was there,
everytime i tie my shoe,
i remember the memories that we share

you noe how i feel bout you,
as ive saed it before,
but ive been reli wondering who,
am i in ur heart and shore

i reli miss you as ive never had.
though im beat and tired but i never get tired of you.
i reli miss your laughter, you smile, your morning frowning face.
where you eyes were as small as the world.
where i only can have peek at whats inside you.
your eyes are the windows to you heart and soul.
and you cant lie.
i understand you when youre down or up.
i reli want to share everything within me
that i hold so long
but we just cant meet eye to eye.
i reli want to hold your hand when that day
where breeze were strong and i hold your hand
sang you a song and a smile arise out of the ashes
if only you knew that you are on the pinnacle of ma list
that i could never dream a dream knowing that we no longer
hold such dreams
ill get a car driving license for you my dear.
as soon as i get a bike.
i reli wana share everything.
you know how my family is like
i want to introduce you to my mum
as shes been longing to see you
i want to eat the food that you prommised to cook
maybe im sick and feverish kos i miss you
i reli do
ur smile brightens my day
but nw i find maself in the dark.
i never reli saed thoes words
but i will one day
i will

Labels: her

-2:44:00 PM

2 days, 13 hours of work each, 5 hours of lepak each, 3 hours of chatting on the phone each, 3 hours of sleeping each, 1 weekend..

This is my life work at 8 till late night..i want to say that I am very damn tired in these days but I reli do not want have another thing like this. This is just due to me having chills and blocked nose. If not I’ll be fine baby. I am so damn beat and on Saturday where im suppose to end at 3, kena extend till night. Kos of people never comes. But I don’t blame them. Even I was tempted by the sentosa trip. But work has to come first. I never really like to cabot from the commitments I have in hand. I’d sacrifice my time and enjoyment for them.

Today I thought was going to be another Monday but it aint, I decided to get a surprise for classmate/friend Natasha Stellar. Went to Swensens with Sucy/Su*** to get the cake and like was hiding the cake from Natasha. Den Dian/Elise was like asking Natasha to the toilet so that we can ask the staff to like hide the cake. Very funny lah seh with the oreo on the teeths gap and all.

So ya, it’s a blast. Meeting Nunu and Lala later. Gna be another blast.

-2:54:00 PM

hemm..was late todae..adeq woke me up at 730..and it was like 1 hour from what time i shud have woke up. biase jugak. send ma moms order. kinda tired of rushing there so was like eating at macdonald alone..besh jgk. can reflect on had passed and can reflect on what could have been better and what i should do next.

i learn today from my "reflection" that i have to treasure what i have and not neglect it when i search for new fun. so i msgd her. like out of the blue. kind of missing what i was in her life before we started to drift. i just want to gel it back together where ill send her home eventhough it'll take the gruelling 2 hour bus ride home. but im happy to do that.

yesterday after school i was planning to go to werk den gt a pleasing surprise. SULASTRI!!!!!hah..i realised shes like quite dwn these days so i being the caring or some say kepoh ask her lah..she like nothing2 for awhile, den she gt a call from sm1..she turned to me..took a breathe and saed...nothing..haha..i ask again..den she say..haha..we talk like we never talk before which is like we never reli "talk" before.haha. advices shared and as ive been in her situation for like god knows.. i can tell her my experience. ya...tot of her throughout the LRT journey and finally ending up at werk doing the monotonous thing i do almost every day of my life. sending orders..

Labels: her, sulala

-1:30:00 PM

irritating day..woke up todae with cramped arms..which hurts on the left..g mandi and as usual. pelan2..wasnt as bad as yesterday though. but still bad. a 10cm by 4 cm scar is bad i must say. so ya. bt the best part is when i wana wipe myself dry. my right hand cramp..when i try using my left injured hand..pon cramp.. end up jalan macam the hulk.. only naked. haha.. den as usual.. hunt for my boxers.. found lah seh..

need to wear 3 quarters as my leg oso injured..haiz..den ya. go IMM to send my moms curry puff ordes. den plan nak g 7 eleven confident ah ade Winner den g takde.. accompanied by my smokeless lungs. drag maself to the kedai mama kat interchange. due to the craving. i smoke 1 stick. half ah i guess. kos nak berak. haha. need to q for the cubi. lame seh. smore gt fan. walau.. at the limit la seh..gt in den no toilet paper..i was like nak taknak. bt due to the long q in my stomach. bedal jek. frantically finding any kind of paper. den jumpe lah seh. buried treassure.. den the rest its me n myself la eh..den skul as per normal ah. gt UT.stupid question.ah..very weak..k i guess im done.. going to werk..n dis is just start of ma day.. wonder wats gona be like later ah..haha

n sulastri is not smiling..ahhhhhh...